The Impotent Satyr | The Impotent Satyr

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The Impotent Satyr

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"Hell has a new resident," Says Local Candidate & Paste-Eater C Davis—He's Not Entirely Wrong

Rip and tear, until women's rights are upheld.

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Bullied Student Dons Mask & Brings Temperature Gun to School, Opens Fire

His thermometer gun is drawn and aimed at the forehead of 1st string quarterback and "COVID is a hoax" enthusiast Broman Guyperson.

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Biden: "Sure, I Sniffed a Woman's Hair Once or Twice In College, But I Never Inhaled"

So I took a lady, Mary Jane, from a guy on my left, and then I poked my nose through her curls and took in a whiff. BUT I DID NOT INHALE!

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Speed Racer Fan Theory Confirmed: "Yes, Everyone is Cumming Their Pants Constantly"

"Every executive at TV Tokyo knew exactly that those moans weren't of astonishment"

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Unhinged Rainy Day Records Employee Accepts Yet Another 'Better Than Ezra: Deluxe' Trade-In

"Alright," the Lead Manager said in a defeated tone. "Slap a '98 cents' sticker on that thing and add it to the pile."

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Altar Boy on Third Attempt to Extinguish Candle Really Feeling God's Mockery

Sweat slid down Jose's temples and dripped onto the fruit punch-stained collar of his alb.

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City Manager Concludes There Not Enough Bumps on 1-5 On-Ramp at Exit 107

Right now the bumps in the road give drivers a jarring, earthquake-like sensation that has their morning coffee thrashing about and spilling

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Grad Celebrates Digital Commencement, Chooses 'Chocolatey Chip' Over Original Eggos

Yo, Aunt Jemima, we'll convene when these bad boys are luke warm and supine on my plate.

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Regressives Initiate All-Inclusive Orgy in Hopes of Reverting County to Phase 1

"We're gonna fuck and fuck some more until we get our social distancing restrictions back again—this time enforced by police."

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In Midst of Apocalypse, Man Receives Text That 420 West, Carpenter Still Open for Business

"I mean, the whole city is on fire; why shouldn't my lungs be?" West Olympian Aarnold Lemonberry reasoned aloud with himself.

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