Sep 27, 2020 1 min "Hell has a new resident," Says Local Candidate & Paste-Eater C Davis—He's Not Entirely Wrong Rip and tear, until women's rights are upheld.
Sep 13, 2020 2 min Bullied Student Dons Mask & Brings Temperature Gun to School, Opens Fire His thermometer gun is drawn and aimed at the forehead of 1st string quarterback and "COVID is a hoax" enthusiast Broman Guyperson.
Aug 11, 2020 2 min Biden: "Sure, I Sniffed a Woman's Hair Once or Twice In College, But I Never Inhaled" So I took a lady, Mary Jane, from a guy on my left, and then I poked my nose through her curls and took in a whiff. BUT I DID NOT INHALE!
Aug 2, 2020 2 min Speed Racer Fan Theory Confirmed: "Yes, Everyone is Cumming Their Pants Constantly" "Every executive at TV Tokyo knew exactly that those moans weren't of astonishment"
Jul 28, 2020 2 min Unhinged Rainy Day Records Employee Accepts Yet Another 'Better Than Ezra: Deluxe' Trade-In "Alright," the Lead Manager said in a defeated tone. "Slap a '98 cents' sticker on that thing and add it to the pile."
Jul 26, 2020 3 min Altar Boy on Third Attempt to Extinguish Candle Really Feeling God's Mockery Sweat slid down Jose's temples and dripped onto the fruit punch-stained collar of his alb.
Jul 15, 2020 2 min City Manager Concludes There Not Enough Bumps on 1-5 On-Ramp at Exit 107 Right now the bumps in the road give drivers a jarring, earthquake-like sensation that has their morning coffee thrashing about and spilling
