The Impotent Satyr
Thurston County's darling Italian sub sandwich shop announced, via a message burned onto thirty-seven hoagie roll halves that were thrown through the window of The Impotent Satyr news headquarters, that Meconi's would be changing its name to McConi's and that the menu was getting an Irish makeover.
I passed the message onto social media where it spread like a virus a wildfire KPop.
Meconi's (McConi's, as they will be referred to henceforth) then followed up this ball drop by writing their new menu onto the hood and windows of my 2006 macaroni-yellow Chevy Aveo—three employees painstakingly spelled out everything in condiments and strips of sauerkraut. I watched them from inside the office. For two-and-a-half hours they persisted. I sure hope they're making more than minimum wage.
From what was written on my now-defaced Satyr Wagon, McConi's new menu appeared to be a fusion of Italian and Irish cuisine:
Mutton Stew Sandwich (not served dry)
Boiled Bacon, Lettuce (cabbage) and Tomato
Garlic Soda Bread w/ Raisins
Black Pudding Egg Salad (the one with the blood—you'll like it)
At press time, hungry Italian/Irish fusion enthusiasts were already lining up outside McConi's, waving the conveniently similar green, white, & red-orange-striped flags of each nation.