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Diagnosis: Hellacopter

Updated: Nov 5, 2019

Impotent M.D.

"Bro, I think I'm having PTSD: Party Time So Drink! Ahaha! Wooo! I have no concept of genocide!"

Hellacopter as Define in the Impotent Medical Journal: A bundle of buds in a self-perpetuating propelling loop of identifying objects around them and past experiences as "Hella ______."


Is you or someone you know forming sentences like, "Cody, you've gotta take a sip of my cranberry vodka mixer--it's hella dank, and mostly sugary juice."

or

"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."

or

"Bro, I've been reading this Freud guy for class; the dude's thoughts are hella dope. He's a MILF hunter, and I've got mad respect, you know what I'm saying?"


If you said yes to one or all of these examples, your loved one may be suffering from the highly contagious Hellacopter. The only known cure is complete segregation from one's peers and a Gilmore Girls marathon administered nightly.

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