Are your Rabbi's curls so voluminous that they keep getting caught on the menorah, drenching themselves in oil and catching fire, nearly burning down the entire synagogue? Oy vey!
Are they leading the congregation in sacred cantillations whose melodies sound an awful lot like 60s Armenian-inspired folk pop?
Do they often schlep across the country with their mensches to perform ridiculous, meshuggeneh Torrah recitation reunion tours after swearing they'd never tour again? The chutzpah on this one!
Your Rabbi may be kocher right under your kippah.
Forget medical attention--just give the schmuck a haircut.