Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.

They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.

Library policy is If it's returned via the hole, you pay zero toll. The other policy being What happens in the romance section stays there.

I performed the ancient vegan trick of regurgitating partially digested food to travel backwards in time.

The teacher encouraged us to start cutting up vegetables and letting them fall right into the water around the brazenly naked man before us.

I had to bribe the Oly Projects twitter account with a promise to open all of their sealed pickle jars, but they gave me the answer I sought

These stairs get 3 art pieces that just really speak to me out of 5.

The bathroom was exceptionally clean. --was-- ------!WAS!------

I'd been exploring the Dept. of Labor and Industries, turned a corner, and saw this absolute unit wriggle before my eyes.

When Guy Fieri or Smash Mouth vocalist Steve Harwell roll into town with their frosted tips, things get slippery--like in a bad way; you do

The rails are excellent for sliding down on one's butt--a butt draped in pants, of course.

Stairwell Aficionado The hardwood stairs are sick! The twisty spindles are sick! Creepily watching others from the rooftop dining area is...

The decor is so lifelike. After I got a 7 stroke on hole 4, some animatronic pirates started yo-ho-ing and smacked me with a plaster rapier.

They didn't sell any of those giant piranha plants emerging from and receding into giant green pipes that I could warp around in.

I thought me and the stairwells were cool; I thought the stairwells were going to let me use Their Word which had historically been used aga

Around and around and around the vending options go. Where they stop, only RAD mechanic Steve knows.

Stairwell Aficionado I asked for a Cafe Au Lait, and the barista lowered her head and bull-charged me through the wall and into Our Town...

Stairwell Aficionado These stairs worked my core of discovery. This stairwell gets 2 Meriwether Lewis auto-erotic asphyxiation death...

Stairwell Aficionado One time, before I realized my calling as a stairwell aficionado, I tripped and fell while attempting to walk up the...

Stairwell Aficionado I opened the little door below the stairs, and a short human child pushed me over and tore off one of my shoes and a...

Stairwell Aficionado This will be my first Evergreen stairwell post since I stopped working in the bagel department. I thought I'd move...

Stairwell Aficionado Oh boy, I haven't written a full-length stairwell review in a long time. This one deserves it, though, as it's...

Stairwell Aficionado The barista laughed at my joke. He has to marry me now. Dems da rules. Picking out my dress as we speak. This dark,...

Stairwell Aficionado This stairwell separates the diamond sellers from the Russian lawyers. The carpet pattern induced-vertigo separated...

Stairwell Aficionado With my amount of knowledge of this area, I'd say that those tubes fire missiles loaded with drugs to Mexico where...

Stairwell Aficionado There're, like, at least 7 stairwells here. Although I'm preeetty sure these giant cylinders contain David...

Stairwell Aficionado This almighty stairwell leads to heaven. The bouncer at the bottom keeps asking to see my nips, yet never lets me...

Stairwell Aficionado Every level was a differently styled staircase within this mega stairwell. I bought nothing and feel no guilt. It...

Stairwell Aficionado When cars drive over this bridge it sounds like Jay Jay the Jet Plane flying back into my life after he left to buy...

Stairwell Aficionado I came with the mission of finding the source of all work. I left with the aroma of a urinal cake lingering in my...

Stairwell Aficionado I don't know WHY I couldn't take a non-blurry picture of this amazing stairwell that features tile steps. TILE...

Stairwell Aficionado It's super gay and virile. 4 Scarlett Johanssons playing gay women out of 5. #AustinTexas #AustinStairwell

Stairwell Aficionado This is where I'm shooting my new sitcom "Brick & Mortary." 2 oooooo weeeeee's out of 5. #ThurstonCountyStairs

Stairwell Aficionado Yeah, these stairs get the job done. It ain't much but it's an honest 1 out of 5 dying memes. #Memeonlastleg...

Stairwell Aficionado These stairs rule. 4 unexpected but unsatisfying M. Night Shyamalan twists out of 5. #MontesanoWA...

Stairwell Aficionado Happy Halloween! Oh boy has it been a while since I wrote a full-length stairwell review. I celebrated Stairwell...

Stairwell Aficionado Right after I took this picture the pallet jack came alive, chased me down, and hoisted me up by my underwear,...

Stairwell Aficionado These aren't the Golden arches I was promised, Mom, but I looted the employee fridge and made my own Kid's Meal. 4...

Stairwell Aficionado Is there a wood splinter-caused infection equivalent of tetanus? Cause I'm gonna need its vaccination before I climb...

Stairwell Aficionado This stairwell cured my erectile dysfunction. 5 doctors asked if Cialis is right for you out of 5. #TacomaWA...

Stairwell Aficionado I slid down the banister and fell head first into the recycling bin, becoming entombed in a sea of shredded...

Stairwell Aficionado This isn't actually a stairwell you can walk on. This is a picture of a Wile E. Coyote-esque painting on a wall....

Stairwell Aficionado The bottom of this stairwell was completely taken over by flies. In unison they attacked pressure points on my body,...

Stairwell Aficionado This staircase led to a magical loft where the internet has no power and books rule the land. At least that's what I...

Stairwell Aficionado Knowing IKEA, this stairwell is unusable and for looks only and will surely fall apart upon first step. 5...

Stairwell Aficionado I have Carly Ray Jepson's "Call Me Maybe" running through my head on repeat. And I only know the chorus, so it's...

Stairwell Aficionado The gate kept me out, but the likelihood of tetanus kept me out more. 3 anti-vaxers out of 5 would like to speak to...

Stairwell Aficionado Business business business business. Move aside, there's businessing to business. I give it 2 "Hey! what are you...