Vics Now Offering Pizza By-the-Handful
Customers ordering by-the-handful may not have their pizza reheated, for reasons Vics' lawyers claim are 'paramount in avoiding a law suit.'
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- 2 min
Hairnets, Beardnets, Now Hornets: How This Kitchen is Ushering in the New Standard for Hygeine
Elsa shined a heat lamp in her employees’ faces and was horrified by what she saw; Their mouths were humid and coated in saliva.
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New Coworker Already Repeating Dialogue Lines
"He hadn't even worked a full week yet! He was hired on a Wednesday, and he's already said the same thing twice!"
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Report: Funnel Jamming Drawer Yet Again
The Impotent Satyr Jeez loo-eez. Can I catch a break while reaching for a slotted spoon? I'm just trying to stir the macaroni noodles I...
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Chewee's Caramels OOPS! All Salt
We made Gerald try out one of these heavily-salted caramels. After eating one, Gerald was speechless.
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Dong Smasher 2K23
In a land ruled by dongs, only one dongless individual can stand up and say, "No dongs for me, please."
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Chodelula Hot Sauce
What if hot sauce could stretch out your insides without wrecking you deep, deep in your intestines?
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2 min
Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'
Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...
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Diagnosis: Kocher
"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."
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- Jul 28, 2019
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Diagnosis: Hellacopter
"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
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- May 28, 2019
- 1 min
Procedure: VASEctomy
Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
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