WHO I AM

I'm a college student. I got into politics when Donald Trump began his campaign. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart always resonated with me, and The Onion has given me plenty of laughs over the years. One day I thought to myself, "can I do what they do?" The short answer was "yes". The also short answer is "it's gonna take some time and patience to narrow your focus and perfect your craft". This is my humorous journey; thank you for being a part of it.

WHAT I DO

This site is a refuge for those who need a laugh. 

I enjoy writing after I've had some coffee or wine or both.

  • STAIRWELL AFICIONADO

I had a Summer job a couple years back where I was at one point scrubbing a small stairwell that lead from a kitchen up to an employee break area. I spent enough time in there to develop a sense of awe from them. I came up with the idea of a publication where I would go around to all sorts of places (cafes, lodges, malls, homes, etc.) and take pictures of their stairwell(s) and write a story about the business or location, drink some wine or coffee, and have a great time.

 

A year passed by and I still had this idea in the back of my head. So I finally acted on it. I didn't know how to start but I knew I wanted to make it funny. The rest is history.

 

  • IMPOTENT SATYR

I was in Montana over the holidays and was getting cabin fever. The Onion was becoming a constant source of amusement for me. I'm a creator, though, and I wanted to laugh at my own work. So I skeptically searched for a Photoshop app on Google Play and low and behold there were a few. Once I grasped the basics I searched for a news article to spin. The name came to me as I was thinking of the Rick and Morty episode where Mr. Goldenfold acquires after shave from the devil that makes him irresistible to the opposite sex but also impotent. I was also doing a crossword, and the answer to a clue was "satyr." So I put them together because I thought it hilarious that a horny goat person couldn't get it up.

  • JAMBALAYA SCHOOL NEWSLETTER

Some friends took guardianship of their friend's child and then signed him up for school. They received a school newsletter. I read some of it, lamenting their missed opportunity to make it wacky and ridiculous. So I decided to make one myself--and boy did I make it ridiculous.

  • IMPOTENT PRODUCTS

I kept coming up with little plays on words that didn't fit in with the satire I'd been writing, so I decided to create my first branch off of The Impotent Satyr. Honestly, I love it. Before this, I was creating horrible spoken puns that sometimes missed the mark. Also, I quit my job where I interacted with others, so maybe solitude forced my hand on this. Either way, this is something I enjoy.

  • IMPOTENT COMICS

I've been drawing comics since I was a child. It started with Bug Life--mostly jokes stolen from Sponge Bob and Loony Tunes and repurposed for tiny insects. Then it was my own Pokemon comic about the adventures of Ash and Pikachu in modern society. Then I drew myself as the super hero Danny Boy, including a long line-up of super hero friends, including some real friends and cousins. From there I began almost exclusively creating comic tales about my classmates, beginning in junior high and continuing through high school and even community college. I didn't draw another comic for, maybe, 8 years. But, when I did, I received some good feedback and it inspired me to keep going. With these new comics, I was trying to create my own character style, attempting to not copy Web Comics I'd seen before. Then I stopped, again. I bought a new computer and tried to recreate my previous style of characters using Microsoft Paint 3D. Then I got Photoshop AND found an in-browser comic-builder that really upped my game.

Finally, the ending. I was in Montana (1 year anniversary of The Impotent Satyr in the place where it all began) and had decided in the hotel on the journey to Great Falls to create a series about pirates doing everything BUT actual pirating. I draw everything in my mobile Adobe Sketch and transfer it to my computer's Photoshop and then into Canva and then I download the pics and put them on this website. Ta-da!

  • GAMER'S STAIRWELL AFICIONADO

This one is pretty self-explanatory. This blog is a fantastic reason to go back and play old games and scour them for stairwells.

  • IMPOTENT M.D.

I had a couple wrist-related plays on words that weren't a tangible object that could fit in to Impotent Products. I could have worked it into a comic, but it didn't feel right for a whole few panels explaining on pun. So this is where I began putting medical-related illnesses, equipment (that totally could have gone into Impotent Products, I'll admit), and procedure(s).

  • FLACCID JAZZ

So, as you could imagine, I felt that the former "Impotent" was becoming a bit played out. And Impotent Music/Rock/Tunes--whatever--didn't sound appealing (or ironically unappealing) at all. So I opted for impotence in a new light. And I remember my Casio keyboard, which I've had since I was a kid, displaying genres upon unknown genres of pre-loaded audio percussion tracks, and one was called Acid Jazz--a genre I still have not sought out to this day.

Real news, I swear