Impotent M.D.

Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'

Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...

Diagnosis: Kocher

"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."

Diagnosis: Hellacopter

"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."

Procedure: VASEctomy

Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens

Contagion: The Yawns

Just think of the sorts of creatures who could take advantage of your parted lips and fly right in.

SoBe-GYN

Look out for our upcoming flavor, "Offshore Breeze," that guarantees those within a 16 meter radius will smell what your Rock is cooking.

Diagnosis: Conkushion

Impotent M.D. Did you just take a fatty hit off a blunt the size of Andre the Giant's pinky finger? Is your head the lightest it's ever...

Askew-Tips

Impotent M.D. Impotent M.D. has teamed up with the Impotent Products division to bring the people life-saving technologically savvy hopes...

Diagnosis: Tetwrist

Are you suffering from wrist pain after putting in time jerking your joystick while playing the world's favorite block-busting game, Tetris?

Diagnosis: Rheumatoid Darthritis

Pain in your hand after a Sith Master instructed you to kill more Younglings than you signed up for? Diagnosis: Rheumatoid Darthritis

9/10 Dentists Use Captain Crunch to Perform Gum Surgery

Impotent M.D. Modern technology can't compare to Quaker Oats' Captain Crunch pieces at slicing into the human mouth. Why use anything...