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Cunnilanguish | Medical Diagnosis

Impotent MD

Are you suffering from clitoral boredom? Ask yourself: Is my significant other's tongue beating my clit like Rocky Balboa beats meat? Or is that tongue as aimless as a grandma's hand trawling her pocket for caramels?

If your answer was the latter, you may be suffering from Cunnilanguish, a medical illness that leaves its victim horribly unsatisfied with pathetic attempts at cunnilingus.

Consult your BFF if you think treatment is right for you. Treatment includes but is not limited to:

  • Dumping your significant other and their dry-ass, sand-papery tongue

  • Making a power-point presentation on how they can suck less by sucking more

  • Sighing loudly or making fart sounds with your mouth during foreplay

Side effects of Cunnilanguish treatments may be permanent if treatment is continued onto other sexual partners. Depending on how brutal the power-point presentation is, Impotent MD is not responsible for any projectors-turned-projectiles thrown in anger.

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