Sep 13, 20212 minYogurt LidzSimply throw the empty, yogurt-less plastic cup somewhere in nature or in any garbage can that's right next to a recycle bin.
Aug 29, 20211 minHigh-WurstHigh-Wurst are gummy dummy thicc frankfurters that will fill your entire mouth with smokey, Capri Sun-like flavor.
Aug 9, 20211 minTat SkinsEach bag of Tat Skins contains your daily recommended intake of lower back butterfly tattoos.
May 13, 20211 minTHCRABBLE: Mike Tython EdithionEnjoy spelling your favorite words without the difficult-to-pronounce no-no letter, replacing it with good ol' "TH"; mother nature's "S".
Apr 25, 20211 minHive-Burst | Bee-Infused CandyI wasn't aware that BEES FIXED THE FLINT, MICHIGAN WATER CRISIS. Oh, wait, they didn't! Piss off, Jerry.
Apr 18, 20211 minS Cargo | French Bistro Mollusc Delivery ServiceImpotent Products Impotent Products is expanding into the food delivery market! Through online polling, questionnaires, and blurting out...
Feb 19, 20211 minThe Adventures of Marma Man and Brownicle BoyBuy your own "Action Figures" at a weed shop near you and recreate all of Marma Man and Brownicle Boy's high-larious adventures.
Feb 19, 20211 minfitbitch | Fitness DevolvedSeamless smart-phone pairing lets you be disappointed by your dog anywhere. The option to relay voice messages of your shame.
Feb 7, 20211 minMari's ConfinemintsThe grape flavor is TO DIE FOR. Billy Fishskin was transformed into a gelatinous, bloody pool AND STILL WENT BACK FOR SECONDS.
Feb 6, 20211 minKàkaw | Crow Shrieks in a BoxKàkaw is sold in the section of the weed store where a generous-but-misguided budtender is rolling joints with lotto tickets.
Jan 10, 20211 minMarmanarasAs basil hits your tongue, your Sicilian crone-of-a-mother-in-law nods her head in approval of you—for once. Savor it, mi amore.
Dec 27, 20201 minTrainimorphsIt's up to one man who can shape-shift into a train to speed around the world and collect the world's last humans with fair derrieres.
Dec 22, 20201 minChee-Z VapeJust take a nice, deep breath and let your lungs fill with thick clouds of aged cheddar. Welcome to the future—it smells like foot.
Nov 21, 20201 minMari's Minced MintsAt Impotent Products, we don't deal in petty things like overly complicated packaging, egregious price-hiking, or costly quality assurance.
Nov 14, 20201 minChewie'sImpotent Products Have you ever stared at your cat cleaning itself and thought, "Why should this being be the only one who gets to enjoy...
Sep 27, 20201 minHARMASRazorblades are 100% American steel. Support your country, and add a little bit (a lot) of excitement (pain) to your diet (mouth).
Sep 23, 20201 minKoKo GemzShare them with: Friends, Neighbors, Old Relatives With Preexisting Health Conditions
Sep 7, 20201 minCoca-RicolaThe menthol and carbonation with send you straight to the wintry planet Hoth, lost in a blizzard with no Tauntaun innards to keep you warm.
Sep 5, 20201 minMarmambo #5Introducing a THC gummy for those who have it all. Marmambo #5 tastes like absolutely nothing—the one thing you don't have.
Aug 20, 20201 minThigh-Burst | Watermelon CrushAre you ready for an edible that is going to make your head feel like it's being crushed by a woman with incredibly strong thighs?
Aug 17, 20201 minShawarmasDo you know how to spell culltrol aprapriotion? I can't type it into Google to see if I shouldn't be doing this kind of thing.
Aug 15, 20201 minPebbles | DioriteIt's just a box of rocks. Small rocks. Pebbles, if you will. But still Pebbles if you won't.
Aug 6, 20202 minKikkoman Bed Crumbs"Oh my god. Did you eat the entire bag?" How many times have you been asked that question in your life? Hi, my name is Johannes Jonsonson.
Jul 6, 20201 minJuly | Grab Yourself a FifthDid I drive the truck onto the roof again? How is that even possible, and why can't I do it when I'm sober?
Jun 2, 20202 minPutin's Eggo Waffles | L'Eggo его EggoThe ninja coughs up thick red blood that trickles down their chin and finds quarter in a trench of the Eggo waffle. "Nani!?"
May 24, 20201 minMarmas | Grey PouponOne candy square tastes like just like eating a tablespoon of Grey Poupon.
May 21, 20201 minMarmots Introducing the first gummy candy to guarantee a complaint to the HOA by your neighbor.
May 3, 20201 minThe KaYak | Smelly, Non-Reusable & BiodegradableShipped product may be smelly and/or near-death. It is recommended that you use the KaYak immediately after receiving.
Apr 24, 20201 minPEZhaluysta (Made in Russia)PEZhaluysta! The only candy that asks for consent before lodging itself into your throat.
Apr 19, 20201 minBred Bull Bread-Bowl-in-a-Can!Experience the natural sogginess of the bread's insides, and wash it down with Red Bull and some chewy bits!
Mar 25, 20201 minMad Max: Fury RollTP alone won't save them. For where there's sand, there are sandy cheeks.
Mar 20, 20202 minPliable Teaser: Coronavirus EditionThis digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Mar 10, 20202 minSerfs-to-Air MissilesIt's not genocide if your serfs' cause of death is from sudden impact with another country's property.
Mar 1, 20201 minBoba Fettuccini's Sarlacc Pit LinguineStraight from the Sarlacc's mouth, you've heard it correct. Boba Fettuccini's is the best pasta on this side of Yavin 4!
Feb 26, 20201 minThe Last Air BlenderIt's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Feb 11, 20201 minPabst Brown Ribbon BeerPabst Brown Ribbon takes only the finest of hops that are left over after everyone else has had their pick through.
Jan 18, 20201 minCoo-ers Draft Beer (1.2% ABV)You'll know it's chilled properly when Coo-ers calls dibs on the street popcorn.
Jan 2, 20201 minHydra FlaskPut on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Dec 18, 20191 minThe Virgin Chad: How Abstinence Makes You the Coolest Cat on the BlockHey, dudes, dudettes, despacitos, and Doritos, it's in God's plan that you pick up this book and read the holy texts and heart emojis inside
Dec 8, 20191 minAttireBecause you're a head turner. A breath captor. And a power steerer. You're sleek, sexy, unstoppable, and full of hot air.
Dec 3, 20192 minAnti-Grind Gear GoopYou know what really grinds my gears? Gear Operators who don't use Anti-Grind Gear Goop.