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- Oct 3, 2018
- 1 min read

Quick Stare: Nelson Field Montesano, WA

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

Stairwell Aficionado

Is there a wood splinter-caused infection equivalent of tetanus? Cause I'm gonna need its vaccination before I climb this ancient disasterpiece.

3 Planks staring into the void out of 5.

#MontesanoWA #NelsonField #GraysHarborStairwells

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Apr 12, 2020
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A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

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Mar 20, 2020
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Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition

This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.

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Feb 26, 2020
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The Last Air Blender

It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!

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Jan 28, 2020
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The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit

If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.

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Jan 11, 2020
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Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic

"But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"

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Jan 2, 2020
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Hydra Flask

Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!

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Dec 4, 2019
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Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised

Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.

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Nov 8, 2022
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Hunger Overruled

"The court sentences you to 200 hours of assembling pigs in a blanket."

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Nov 3, 2022
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Saitama goes to a straight-edge party

Drank it in one gulp.

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Aug 4, 2022
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Easy, Breezy, Face-Eaty, Beautiful

Velociraptor seeks biped who enjoys outdoors

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Jul 21, 2022
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Aug 12, 2019
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Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'

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Jul 30, 2019
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Diagnosis: Kocher

"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."

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Jul 28, 2019
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Diagnosis: Hellacopter

"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."

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May 28, 2019
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Procedure: VASEctomy

Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens

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Mar 2, 2021
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Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel

Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."

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Apr 12, 2020
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A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

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Feb 28, 2020
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I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.

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Jan 11, 2020
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A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio

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Mar 21, 2020
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I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.

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Feb 29, 2020
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Why watch dogs when you can watch stairwells?

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Feb 28, 2020
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They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.

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Feb 5, 2020
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More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.

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Hot Sockets

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Jun 2
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Chewee's Caramels OOPS! All Salt

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Jun 1
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Dong Smasher 2K23

In a land ruled by dongs, only one dongless individual can stand up and say, "No dongs for me, please."

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Sham Pain

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Quick Stare: Nelson Field Montesano, WA

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