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- Oct 3, 2018
- 1 min read

Quick Stare: Nelson Field Montesano, WA

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

Stairwell Aficionado

Is there a wood splinter-caused infection equivalent of tetanus? Cause I'm gonna need its vaccination before I climb this ancient disasterpiece.

3 Planks staring into the void out of 5.

#MontesanoWA #NelsonField #GraysHarborStairwells

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Feb 5
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Embarrassed Coworker Caught on Fly Trap Chooses Death Over Asking for Help

"Believe it or not, while hanging from this adhesive tape covered in dead flies, I've found God. And She has a proboscis."

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Apr 12, 2020
3 min

A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

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Mar 20, 2020
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Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition

This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.

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Feb 26, 2020
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The Last Air Blender

It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!

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Apr 4
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Two Celebrities Who Did NOT Age Well

Where has the time gone? Where has my ample supply of cheese gone?

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Mar 24
1 min

Lift With Your Legs

Safety first!

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Mar 3
1 min

Life is a B

Sparky's life didn't quite go as planned. But he is still a pretty good boy.

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Nov 8, 2022
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Hunger Overruled

"The court sentences you to 200 hours of assembling pigs in a blanket."

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Mar 6
1 min

Cunnilanguish | Medical Diagnosis

Treatment includes but is not limited to: Sighing loudly or making fart sounds with your mouth during foreplay

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Aug 12, 2019
2 min

Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'

Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...

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Jul 30, 2019
1 min

Diagnosis: Kocher

"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."

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Jul 28, 2019
1 min

Diagnosis: Hellacopter

"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."

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Mar 2, 2021
3 min

Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel

Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."

396 views0 comments

Apr 12, 2020
3 min

A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

357 views0 comments

Feb 28, 2020
1 min

A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls

I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.

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Jan 11, 2020
1 min

A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio

They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.

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Mar 21, 2020
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The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review

I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.

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Feb 29, 2020
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Watch Dogs | Stairwell Review

Why watch dogs when you can watch stairwells?

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Feb 28, 2020
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Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review

They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.

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Feb 5, 2020
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Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review

More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.

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Mar 24
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Stuart Belittle

The moment The Littles make their decision to adopt him, Stuart berates his fellow orphans for having been picked-over for a mouse.

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Mar 21
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Flay's Hand Peeled Skin Chips

Skin chips are hand peeled & fried to dry, flaky perfection. Naturally salty, our crispy boys are sure to satisfy any cannibalistic cravings

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Mar 20
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Falanel | Flannel-Coated Falafel

Our employees painstakingly clothe magma-hot falafel in flannel, creating our trademark product: FALANEL

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Mar 10
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Nunyuns | Onion Flavored Halos

Relief instantly washes over you, as Nunyun holes are large and famously not tight. Sticking one's finger in a Nunyun gives no satisfaction.

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Quick Stare: Nelson Field Montesano, WA

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