New Coworker Already Repeating Dialogue Lines
"He hadn't even worked a full week yet! He was hired on a Wednesday, and he's already said the same thing twice!"
top of page
Available on kindle, paper, and hardback!
Just start typing. Who knows what you'll find?
Also available as an
audio book on YouTube
Search
- Oct 6, 2021
Report: Funnel Jamming Drawer Yet Again
The Impotent Satyr Jeez loo-eez. Can I catch a break while reaching for a slotted spoon? I'm just trying to stir the macaroni noodles I...
250
- Aug 15, 2021
Meconi's to Alter Name to McConi's, Serve Irish Take on Subs
The Impotent Satyr Thurston County's darling Italian sub sandwich shop announced, via a message burned onto thirty-seven hoagie roll...
1930
- Sep 27, 2020
"Hell has a new resident," Says Local Candidate & Paste-Eater C Davis—He's Not Entirely Wrong
Rip and tear, until women's rights are upheld.
500
- Sep 13, 2020
Bullied Student Dons Mask & Brings Temperature Gun to School, Opens Fire
His thermometer gun is drawn and aimed at the forehead of 1st string quarterback and "COVID is a hoax" enthusiast Broman Guyperson.
300
- Aug 11, 2020
Biden: "Sure, I Sniffed a Woman's Hair Once or Twice In College, But I Never Inhaled"
So I took a lady, Mary Jane, from a guy on my left, and then I poked my nose through her curls and took in a whiff. BUT I DID NOT INHALE!
320
- Aug 2, 2020
Speed Racer Fan Theory Confirmed: "Yes, Everyone is Cumming Their Pants Constantly"
"Every executive at TV Tokyo knew exactly that those moans weren't of astonishment"
2780
- Jul 28, 2020
Unhinged Rainy Day Records Employee Accepts Yet Another 'Better Than Ezra: Deluxe' Trade-In
"Alright," the Lead Manager said in a defeated tone. "Slap a '98 cents' sticker on that thing and add it to the pile."
2730
- Jul 26, 2020
Altar Boy on Third Attempt to Extinguish Candle Really Feeling God's Mockery
Sweat slid down Jose's temples and dripped onto the fruit punch-stained collar of his alb.
380
- Jul 15, 2020
City Manager Concludes There Not Enough Bumps on 1-5 On-Ramp at Exit 107
Right now the bumps in the road give drivers a jarring, earthquake-like sensation that has their morning coffee thrashing about and spilling
5020
- Jun 14, 2020
Grad Celebrates Digital Commencement, Chooses 'Chocolatey Chip' Over Original Eggos
Yo, Aunt Jemima, we'll convene when these bad boys are luke warm and supine on my plate.
420
- May 31, 2020
Regressives Initiate All-Inclusive Orgy in Hopes of Reverting County to Phase 1
"We're gonna fuck and fuck some more until we get our social distancing restrictions back again—this time enforced by police."
3240
- Mar 22, 2020
In Midst of Apocalypse, Man Receives Text That 420 West, Carpenter Still Open for Business
"I mean, the whole city is on fire; why shouldn't my lungs be?" West Olympian Aarnold Lemonberry reasoned aloud with himself.
5470
- Mar 20, 2020
I Hate Fake People But This Bitch Didn't Smile When Taking My Order
If you can't fake a smile when my presence is presented, know that I take it as an act of aggression. First Fallujah, then Aleppo, now Oly.
6260
- Mar 7, 2020
Mike Pence Awkwardly Stands Behind COVID-19-Infected Person Until Virus Leaves Host
"Get your ass out here, you blasphemous homosexu—uh, sorry, force of habit."
3230
bottom of page