Feb 91 min readExposing Olympia's Beyblade UnderworldThe Impotent SatyrThe Original Title | Like these buildings, I too am empty (or some other applicable millennial joke). I believe I bought this at Browser's Bookshop.Impotent Satyr•Olympia Satire421 views0 commentsPost not marked as liked
The Impotent SatyrThe Original Title | Like these buildings, I too am empty (or some other applicable millennial joke). I believe I bought this at Browser's Bookshop.
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Mar 20, 2020 2 min Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Feb 26, 2020 1 min The Last Air Blender It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Jan 28, 2020 1 min The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic "But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
Jan 2, 2020 1 min Hydra Flask Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Dec 4, 2019 2 min Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
Dec 1, 2020 1 min Verbs "Anything can be a verb, and every verb is interchangeable," Tom Windows95'd. "Haha. Beep boop."
Jun 15, 2020 1 min Inspector Gadget but He Outlives All His Loved Ones "Uncle Gadget, after decades of solving mysteries, your body hasn't aged a day. I'm not s-so lucky. Don't f-f-forget about me..Uncle Gaaa.."
May 25, 2020 1 min Theater Smotherer That's it—I'm calling for a teenager earning minimum wage to come and smother your insufferable mouth noises. FOR GOOD.
Aug 12, 2019 2 min Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars' Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's n...
Jul 28, 2019 1 min Diagnosis: Hellacopter "My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
May 28, 2019 1 min Procedure: VASEctomy Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.
Jan 1, 2020 1 min Great Falls Public Library, Great Falls, MT Library policy is If it's returned via the hole, you pay zero toll. The other policy being What happens in the romance section stays there.
Mar 21, 2020 1 min The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
Feb 5, 2020 1 min Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.
Feb 19 1 min The Adventures of Marma Man and Brownicle Boy Buy your own "Action Figures" at a weed shop near you and recreate all of Marma Man and Brownicle Boy's high-larious adventures.
Feb 19 1 min fitbitch | Fitness Devolved Seamless smart-phone pairing lets you be disappointed by your dog anywhere. The option to relay voice messages of your shame.
Feb 7 1 min Mari's Confinemints The grape flavor is TO DIE FOR. Billy Fishskin was transformed into a gelatinous, bloody pool AND STILL WENT BACK FOR SECONDS.
Feb 6 1 min Kàkaw | Crow Shrieks in a Box Kàkaw is sold in the section of the weed store where a generous-but-misguided budtender is rolling joints with lotto tickets.