I witnessed a woman attempt to return her tantrum-throwing 4-year-old child. Surprisingly, the kid's head fit through the return slot. And the library policy is "If it's returned via the hole, you pay zero toll." The other policy being "What happens in the romance section between you and the book stays in the romance section."
The Librarian looked down at the tot in the bin of books, shrugged her shoulders, and pressed the child's forehead with a hefty, red stamp that read "Property of Great Falls Public Library."
This stairwell gets 4 assistants shelving a toddler in the "Mystery Non-Fiction" section out of 5.