The Impotent Satyr
There goes my hero
Watch him as he's thrown
There goes my hero
He's aerodynamic
One Last Political Ad (Before We Watch This Kid Get Chucked in the Lake)
Updated: Aug 16, 2020
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Available on kindle, paper, and hardback!
Just start typing. Who knows what you'll find?
Also available as an
audio book on YouTube
- Apr 12, 2020
- 3 min
A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
351 views0 comments
- Mar 20, 2020
- 2 min
Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition
This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
21 views0 comments
- Feb 26, 2020
- 1 min
The Last Air Blender
It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
62 views0 comments
- Jan 28, 2020
- 1 min
The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit
If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
129 views0 comments
- Jan 11, 2020
- 1 min
Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic
"But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
53 views0 comments
- Jan 2, 2020
- 1 min
Hydra Flask
Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
57 views0 comments
- Dec 4, 2019
- 2 min
Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised
Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
177 views0 comments
Featured Posts
Recent Posts from Impotent Comics
- Nov 8, 2022
- 1 min
Hunger Overruled
"The court sentences you to 200 hours of assembling pigs in a blanket."
3 views0 comments
- Aug 4, 2022
- 1 min
Easy, Breezy, Face-Eaty, Beautiful
Velociraptor seeks biped who enjoys outdoors
26 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Impotent M.D.
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2 min
Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'
Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...
21 views0 comments
- Jul 30, 2019
- 1 min
Diagnosis: Kocher
"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."
17 views0 comments
- Jul 28, 2019
- 1 min
Diagnosis: Hellacopter
"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
19 views0 comments
- May 28, 2019
- 1 min
Procedure: VASEctomy
Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
17 views0 comments
- Mar 2, 2021
- 3 min
Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel
Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."
390 views0 comments
- Apr 12, 2020
- 3 min
A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
351 views0 comments
- Feb 28, 2020
- 1 min
A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls
I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.
266 views0 comments
- Jan 11, 2020
- 1 min
A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio
They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.
42 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Stairwell Aficionado
- Mar 21, 2020
- 1 min
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review
I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.
62 views0 comments
- Feb 29, 2020
- 1 min
Watch Dogs | Stairwell Review
Why watch dogs when you can watch stairwells?
29 views0 comments
- Feb 28, 2020
- 1 min
Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review
They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
10 views0 comments
- Feb 5, 2020
- 1 min
Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review
More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.
47 views0 comments
Recent Posts From Gamer's Stairwell Aficionado
- Jul 13
- 2 min
Hot Sockets
Upon first bite the Hot Socket burns my mouth in 2 ways. 1st the marinara instantly perforates the roof of my mouth with second-degree burns
14 views0 comments
- Jun 2
- 1 min
Chewee's Caramels OOPS! All Salt
We made Gerald try out one of these heavily-salted caramels. After eating one, Gerald was speechless.
11 views0 comments
- Jun 1
- 1 min
Dong Smasher 2K23
In a land ruled by dongs, only one dongless individual can stand up and say, "No dongs for me, please."
27 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Impotent Products
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