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Mussolini Cuisini | Frozen Entrée Ration

Impotent Products

From the food scientists who brought you Weeb Cuisine® comes Italy's favorite pastime meal — Mussolini Cuisini — the only frozen dinner for one that's actually meant to be split between the whole family. In fact, that's our slogan.


Are you tired of endless options for food in grocery stores? Isn't the encumbrance of 'choice' such a heavy burden to bear? What if your government could relieve you of that stressful dilemma and tell you what you will be eating for the next two weeks? Would you like that? (Note: It is mandatory that you like that)


Molto bene!


For those without access to fire, Mussolini Cuisini brings the whole family together, as the body heat from at least four adults in a tight huddle will be required to heat up this meal before consumption.


May the image of our great 'il Duce' Benito Mussolini inspire courage in you as you will, no doubt, attempt to eat the rock that may be an apple but is probably definitely a rock.


Purchase Mussolini Cuisini wherever Italian dictators' jaws are forged.

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