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Impotent Products

You've been asking, and we've been ignoring. But now because of COVID-19 restrictions, farmers have an abundance of tomatoes, so Impotent Products bought them on-the-cheap and turned 'em into candy.

Each bite brings you closer to Napoli, as we use only the finest tomatoes that look sort of like San Marzanos, if you squint your eyes.

As basil hits your tongue, your Sicilian crone-of-a-mother-in-law nods her head in approval of you—for once. Savor it, mi amore.

Marmanaras are sold in the section of the weed store where the budtender flaunts their Italian heritage, yet has not once pressed fingers to thumb after tasting lasagna.

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