Impotent Products
Did you know that mints are just pressed-together flavored dust particles? Do you know how much Big Business is charging you because of the labor required to form their aromatic gravel into bite-sized tablets? TOO MUCH MONEYS, that's how much. It's time to cut out the middle man.
Here at Impotent Products, we don't deal in petty things like overly complicated packaging, egregious price-hiking, or costly quality assurance. That's why we're proud to announce Mari's Minced Mints, in their classic powder form. We save money on labor; you save time on chewing. Simply breath in our fine powder and experience the riveting high of a clogged airway!
Also functions as Pocket Sand. Just throw a handful of Minced Mints into the eyes of your enemies for a quick getaway!
Mari's Minced Mints are sold in the section of the marijuana dispensary where the budtender is currently charging their bluetooth earbuds, and their phone, and their vape pen, and their back-up vape pen. And all of these are plugged into a power strip that is plugged into another power strip that is powering, like, four monitors, two stereos, and one implausible "electric bong."
