In a land ruled by dongs, only one dongless individual can stand up and say, "No dongs for me, please."
The day is January 7, 2024. World War 3 started eight days ago. But then it ended five days in after everyone got bored, that is, until 29 hours ago when World War 4 kicked off. That's when all hell broke loose.
Your name is Dick Longfellow, and you were drafted into World War 3. But you retired 2 days ago after an illustrious career and nine tours of duty. But 24 hours prior your government beckoned you back into war. This time the war is personal.
And now when the government has its balls against the wall, they ask Dick to make the ultimate sacrifice, and Dick Longfellow chooses country over dong. Looking through the eyes of Dick, you begin your dong-smashing journey by committing the act of dong seppuku: Smashing your own dong.
With your own dong smashed, you are now free to pass judgment on your enemies' dongs, with almost 10 melee weapons to choose from!
Smash their dongs to save your family.
Smash their dongs to save the world.
Smash their dongs because it's a very fun thing to do.
Purchase Dong Smasher 2K23 wherever balls are cupped and then bowled down a waxed gravel road.