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Just Caws

Impotent Products

Crows on the cover of Square Enix's Just Cause game. Big explosion in the background.
ilililililililili--CAW!! CAW!! CAW!!!

Square Enix's adrenaline-fueled destruca-thon is getting an awesome avian sequel that axes Rico Rodriguez and puts players in control of a series of murder-hungry crows on a mission to liberate all of Solis' crackers from their cardboard box cages.

Put down the wingsuit--you're geared up with fully built-in down to bring you up. Are you down with that?

No guns--Square Enix has been listening to their, uh, audubon societal fans--I guess--fans who would rather claw out the eyes of their enemies with razor-sharp talons than shoot them like a coward with a sexy foreign accent.

No more grapple hook. It was the best-working game mechanic of 2015. So, naturally, Square is throwing it away and building a whole new tool to revolutionize the revolution: Cawing. Your foes will tremble in their Bavarium boots as you fly above them and vocalize your presence and superior altitude.

The only mass destruction that'll take place will be the egregious amount of garbage scraps that your beak tears apart and introduces to your gullet.

Expect Just Caws on the wind early in November 2019.

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