The Impotent Satyr
On September 25 President Trump addressed the United Nations General Assembly in New York, boasting about the triumphs of his people in charge.
"In the past two years my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country.
John Kelly has scraped nearly all of the gum off the underside of the Oval Office desk, left there by Jimmy Carter and his Trident addiction.
Sarah Huckabee-Sanders has deflected so many questions so well that scientists are studying her genes to see if an antiviral can be procured from her soft tissue.
John Bolton's mustache naturally dusts every surface he walks by, so the White House fired the maid service, saving the tax payers over $180,000 every year.
Secretary of Labor and CEO of CKE Restaurants, Inc. Andrew Puzder just finished reading this little book called Animal Farm and has already taken the guidance of the pig Napoleon and applied them to food service workers around the globe, increasing efficiency by 30% and decreasing labor strikes by 100%. Sounds like a fun book.
Our amazing Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross spent this past year traveling across the country, fishing out coins from America's wishing wells. Americans need not wish for success, for with this 2,592 dollars and 82 cents in my possession, success looks like 8 feet of border wall.
Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the nations of the world."
President Trump walked away from the podium, the crowd of foreigners laughing [with] him.