Search

Voracious David Attenborough Lays Claim to Whale Corpse

Updated: Jul 19, 2019


While filming Blue Planet 2 over the Mariana Trench, David Attenborough called dibs on a deceased blue whale floating amongst the waves and dove head-first into the cold water. When the 93-year-old Brit emerged from the icy surface, his jaw opened wide and clamped down on the salt-preserved flesh of one of the largest creatures on Earth.


When the film crew cried out to their narrator, he violently thrashed about, tearing a huge chunk off the creature. He then dove down 3 meters and swallowed the mostly fat hunks into his gullet. This cycle repeated three more times before David's stomach was filled. The now-stuffed Isleworth native took one last gulp of air before submerging and floating listlessly through the ocean, ignoring time-constrainting pleads from the film crew to return to the boat. Once Sir Attenborough left the area, smaller documentary narrators Werner Herzog, Al Gore, and Alec Baldwin swam in to eat what remained of the whale fall.



Featured Posts

Recent Posts from Impotent Comics

Recent Posts from Impotent M.D.

Recent Posts from Stairwell Aficionado

Recent Posts From Gamer's Stairwell Aficionado

Recent Posts from Impotent Products

Real news, I swear