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Trainimorphs

Impotent Products

Ah, ah, Choo choo! Choogity-chooty, let me at that booty. When your crush has an ass like a caboose, you gotta let you boxcar loose.
A merry christmass to us all; God blass us, every bun.

When aliens invade Earth, they begin to control the minds of hundreds of humans, subjecting them to a diet of calorie-deficient vegetables as well as a nonexistent workout regimen. Days go by without a single soul doing a squat; yoga pants begin to sag in the back as the planet's population loses their glutes; Instagram models become obsolete while comedy accounts reign supreme. Butt at what cost?


It's up to one man who can shape-shift into a train to speed around the world and collect the last humans with fair derrieres. Will he make it in time, or will he be forced to become a boob-guy?


Trainimorphs is sold wherever lines are railed and booties are scaled.

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