Impotent Products
When aliens invade Earth, they begin to control the minds of hundreds of humans, subjecting them to a diet of calorie-deficient vegetables as well as a nonexistent workout regimen. Days go by without a single soul doing a squat; yoga pants begin to sag in the back as the planet's population loses their glutes; Instagram models become obsolete while comedy accounts reign supreme. Butt at what cost?
It's up to one man who can shape-shift into a train to speed around the world and collect the last humans with fair derrieres. Will he make it in time, or will he be forced to become a boob-guy?
Trainimorphs is sold wherever lines are railed and booties are scaled.
