The Impotent Satyr
"The neighborhood is concerned, but the guy is so nice--plus he's picking up the trash. We're going to chalk this one as a win for now," said local HOA board member Martha Nuggit.
"I wouldn't want him around my kids," asserted Jeffrey Hoodiestring, a downtown business-owner. "But if the guy walked into my dildo shop with that warm smile, he'd be getting fast service and a firm shake."
"He seems to have a ranking system for the trash," noted Becca Mildoo, an undergrad at BloobityBloop Tech University. "Candy wrappers seem to be high on the list, while juice boxes and pouches seem to be even higher."
The city has hired a full-time sniper to scope-in on the guy at all times from a nearby rooftop, just waiting for the townspeople to change how they feel and decide against his fate.