Having a hard time fitting in to your new surroundings? Not sure how to interact with hot singles in your area? Impotent Products has just the thing to fix all that!
--Introducing the Cloakquialism--
Just slip it on over your naked supple body and watch others who previously turned you away flip a 180 and flock to your trendy local vernacular.
Sold wherever fedoras are tipped to m'lady.