Jul 6, 20181 min readEPA Head Scott Pruitt Resigns (Himself to His Fate)Updated: Jul 19, 2019 The Impotent Satyr The fire rises. #ScottPruitt #Bane #DonaldTrump
Apr 12, 20203 minA Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Buildingit's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Mar 20, 20202 minPliable Teaser: Coronavirus EditionThis digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Feb 26, 20201 minThe Last Air BlenderIt's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Jan 28, 20201 minThe Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
Jan 11, 20201 minReport: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic"But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
Jan 2, 20201 minHydra FlaskPut on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Dec 4, 20192 minPhil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not SurprisedGenesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
Aug 29, 20211 minCanceling Your TV ServiceImpotent Comics Don't you just hate it when you go to cancel your 'all-horses all-the-time' television service and the representative on...
Apr 24, 20211 minYou May Not Like it, but This is What Peak Physigull Fitness Looks Like | Very Bored Pirates Ep. 16Captain MacGuffin and the crew find a dead body adrift but get distracted by an atypically attractive avian.
Aug 12, 20192 minDiagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...
Jul 28, 20191 minDiagnosis: Hellacopter"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
May 28, 20191 minProcedure: VASEctomyTired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
Mar 2, 20213 minRed Lion Inn/Governor's HotelWas it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."
Apr 12, 20203 minA Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Buildingit's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Feb 28, 20201 minA Quick Stare: Tumwater FallsI was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.