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Mueller's Witch Hunt Turns Literal as Hands-Tied Trump Unties Hands and Ends Separation of Famil

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Robert Mueller as a witch hunter from the one movie about hunting witches with the actor who plays wolverine on X-Men, I think

Saying that he could do nothing to stop the policy of separating families immigrating to the United States, President Trump expressed that the situation was out of his control and that his hands were tied. Country-wide opposition to his administration's stance quickly followed, becoming a deafening outcry of repugnance.

Days passed, and Trump still swore that his hands were tied on the matter, all the while making sure to blast Special Council Robert Mueller and his "witch hunt" of an investigation. Meanwhile, Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen were happily engaged in a game of Disconnect Four--an alternate version of the Hasbro classic vertical four-in-a-row game--where players team up to make sure the colored discs are segregated.

Then June 20th came along. President Trump was in the Oval Office, signing an executive order to end the separation of immigrating families traveling together, wrists unbound. Sweaty, but unbound.

This got the attention of Robert Mueller who briskly walked to a bookshelf in his study. He reached out a hand and grabbed his favorite book, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid," pulling it out until there was a click. The shelf slid to the left, revealing a long leather duster, a matching black hat, and a hulking crossbow.

"NOW this is a witch hunt," grinned the Special Council as he worked into the night, laying out a plan to trap Trump in the very cage where immigrant children are being detained and drop him in the Rio Grand.

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