Jun 6, 20181 min readAntonio Villaraigosa Ceases Defeat Speech to Let Nipples Speak They wept. #2018PrimariesImpotent Satyr0 views0 commentsPost not marked as liked
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Mar 20, 2020 2 min Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Feb 26, 2020 1 min The Last Air Blender It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Jan 28, 2020 1 min The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic "But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
Jan 2, 2020 1 min Hydra Flask Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Dec 4, 2019 2 min Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
Apr 24 1 min You May Not Like it, but This is What Peak Physigull Fitness Looks Like | Very Bored Pirates Ep. 16 Captain MacGuffin and the crew find a dead body adrift but get distracted by an atypically attractive avian.
Dec 1, 2020 1 min Verbs "Anything can be a verb, and every verb is interchangeable," Tom Windows95'd. "Haha. Beep boop."
Jun 15, 2020 1 min Inspector Gadget but He Outlives All His Loved Ones "Uncle Gadget, after decades of solving mysteries, your body hasn't aged a day. I'm not s-so lucky. Don't f-f-forget about me..Uncle Gaaa.."
Aug 12, 2019 2 min Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars' Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...
Jul 28, 2019 1 min Diagnosis: Hellacopter "My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
May 28, 2019 1 min Procedure: VASEctomy Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
Mar 2 3 min Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.
Mar 21, 2020 1 min The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
Feb 5, 2020 1 min Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.
Apr 25 1 min Hive-Burst | Bee-Infused Candy I wasn't aware that BEES FIXED THE FLINT, MICHIGAN WATER CRISIS. Oh, wait, they didn't! Piss off, Jerry.
Apr 18 1 min S Cargo | French Bistro Mollusc Delivery Service Impotent Products Impotent Products is expanding into the food delivery market! Through online polling, questionnaires, and blurting out...
