The Impotent Satyr
Former President Barack Obama sat down with The Impotent Satyr to talk about the MQ-9 Reaper he once called "Honey". He sipped from a glass of whiskey and then pulled out an iPad from a worn, leather bag. His fingers ran across the aluminum
edges until they found the "POWER" button. In a couple seconds he had opened a picture which he stared at for a moment before turning the tablet around and showing us. Ice cubes were cool on his lips as he sipped from the glass. A short cough and he was ready.
"Together, we were a hot item. We'd crash events we weren't invited to, get every eye in the room on us. That was her favorite part. Then we'd bounce and be in London before they knew what hit them.
"It was an on and off and then on, again, relationship for a number of years. I couldn't keep up with that wild, untameable stallion."
Mr. Obama finished his whiskey and set the glass down with a loud 'thud'.
"I got on Wall Street's ass and made them accept reform. I lifted boots on the ground out of Iraq and Afghanistan. I killed Osama Bin Laden for crying out loud! This new guy she's with--I hear he wears diapers!"
The former leader of the free world threw up his hands, his eyes were staring a thousand yards away from our interview.
"Is this something popular with the young people? Do I need to go out and buy myself some adult diapers?"
We answered "no", but he ordered some anyway.