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Historic White House Magnolia to be Cut Down

Updated: Aug 3, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Trump wields an axe like a golf club.
"So this is how the government cuts spending."

"If swinging an axe is anything like swinging a golf club, then I'll have trained my entire presidency for this moment." "The president has been practicing his swing with a plastic axe all morning," said White House Chief of Staff John F. Kelly. After a small chuckle he continued, "a number of interns have been on the receiving end of some wild strokes." Our interview was cut short when President Trump strode past us brandishing a hatchet and shouted, "Mr Gorbachev, step aside while I knock this baby down!" "Oh, God," Mr Kelly groaned, "who gave him a real axe? Security! usher the interns back into their cages!" he yelled into his cufflink mic as he chased after the gleeful leader of the Free World.

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