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Scientists Take Picture of Black Hole, but Gary Had Finger Over Lens

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

"What moistureizer does he use, though? His skin looks amazing!"

Researchers at the National Science Foundation released a statement and the first ever photo of a black hole. Unfortunately, their person working the telescope, Gary Truman, had his finger over the lens, essentially blocking all the good stuff from view and throwing this decade-long project in the trash.


"Scientists from around the world combined their super telescopes to view this thing," Frederick Marrone, one of the hundreds of researchers, said. "To have it all ruined by Gary is truly a travesty, but none of us could hold it against the guy. Gary always has the funniest space-related jokes and buys pizza for the office the last Friday of every month."


This isn't the first time Gary Truman has been the cause of a project failure. On August 17, 2017, the lab set up gamma ray detectors to witness two neutron stars spiral into each other, a merger that was predicted to cause a huge explosion. But just as the stars collided, the monitor switched over to Gary's planned taping of NBC's The Good Place. Initially outraged over this incident, the office came around when Gary walked in with three large cheese-lovers pies.


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