May 13, 20191 min readInspector Gadget but He Can't Feel Human EmotionsUpdated: Feb 28, 2020Impotent Comics*smacks self* Gadget, you bionic fool. You should have gone with... GO-GO-GADGET SAW HATYep, that's it.Impotent Comics24 views0 comments
Impotent Comics*smacks self* Gadget, you bionic fool. You should have gone with... GO-GO-GADGET SAW HATYep, that's it.
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Mar 20, 2020 2 min Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Feb 26, 2020 1 min The Last Air Blender It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Jan 28, 2020 1 min The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic "But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
Jan 2, 2020 1 min Hydra Flask Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Dec 4, 2019 2 min Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
Dec 1, 2020 1 min Verbs "Anything can be a verb, and every verb is interchangeable," Tom Windows95'd. "Haha. Beep boop."
Jun 15, 2020 1 min Inspector Gadget but He Outlives All His Loved Ones "Uncle Gadget, after decades of solving mysteries, your body hasn't aged a day. I'm not s-so lucky. Don't f-f-forget about me..Uncle Gaaa.."
May 25, 2020 1 min Theater Smotherer That's it—I'm calling for a teenager earning minimum wage to come and smother your insufferable mouth noises. FOR GOOD.
May 18, 2020 1 min Either You Resurrect or Find a Job Jesus Christ, does it smell like a dead body in here, or is it just you? Both? Oh.
Aug 12, 2019 2 min Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars' Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's n...
Jul 28, 2019 1 min Diagnosis: Hellacopter "My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
May 28, 2019 1 min Procedure: VASEctomy Tired of having kids but short on cash? Just stick your dick in a vase until it shatters, severing your vans deferens
Apr 12, 2020 3 min A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.
Jan 11, 2020 1 min A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.
Jan 1, 2020 1 min Great Falls Public Library, Great Falls, MT Library policy is If it's returned via the hole, you pay zero toll. The other policy being What happens in the romance section stays there.
Mar 21, 2020 1 min The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.
Feb 28, 2020 1 min Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
Feb 5, 2020 1 min Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.
Jan 10 1 min Marmanaras As basil hits your tongue, your Sicilian crone-of-a-mother-in-law nods her head in approval of you—for once. Savor it, mi amore.
Dec 27, 2020 1 min Trainimorphs It's up to one man who can shape-shift into a train to speed around the world and collect the world's last humans with fair derrieres.
Dec 22, 2020 1 min Chee-Z Vape Just take a nice, deep breath and let your lungs fill with thick clouds of aged cheddar. Welcome to the future—it smells like foot.