Downloading: Hurt
- Dan
- Mar 27, 2019
- 1 min read
Updated: Nov 25, 2019
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Embarrassed Coworker Caught on Fly Trap Chooses Death Over Asking for Help
"Believe it or not, while hanging from this adhesive tape covered in dead flies, I've found God. And She has a proboscis."
Feb 5, 20241 min read
30 views
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A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
Apr 12, 20203 min read
365 views
0 comments
Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition
This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
Mar 20, 20202 min read
24 views
0 comments
The Last Air Blender
It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
Feb 26, 20201 min read
80 views
0 comments
The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit
If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.
Jan 28, 20201 min read
159 views
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Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic
"But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"
Jan 11, 20201 min read
55 views
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Hydra Flask
Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!
Jan 2, 20201 min read
68 views
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Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised
Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.
Dec 4, 20192 min read
190 views
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Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel
Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."
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A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
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Why watch dogs when you can watch stairwells?
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They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
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8 views
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The moment The Littles make their decision to adopt him, Stuart berates his fellow orphans for having been picked-over for a mouse.
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