VCR Czar Tape001: 964 Pinocchio - Dildos are People Too

The VCR Czar

Imagine you've managed to upchuck your corndogs and cheese curds into the air on the Tilt-A-Whirl in such a way that it falls back into your mouth. Following this, the ride unhinges from it’s frame, sending you flying through the air as sparks spew from the wreckage that jettisoned you, melting the plastic banners and polyester prize animals underneath.You crash through the back of the nearby concert stage, smashing through lighting and finally landing in a now sparking amplifier. The dizzying spectacle makes you barf your entire insides onto the front of your shirt. You are now watching 964 Pinocchio.

"Huh."

Having read the synopsis for this film before watching, “Pinocchio 964, a lobotomised cyborg

sex slave, is abandoned by his owners due to his inability to maintain an erection, while the

corporate entity plans to kill him,” I definitely expected more gratuitous nudity. As with many

obscure “cyberpunk” films from this era, or at least the body of work that is indie Japanese

cinema, the story is convoluted at its best and nearly non-existent at its worst. Don’t go into this expecting a treatise on the meaning of human consciousness. It does, however, break through genre and filmmaking norms, and is a visual spectacle worth celebrating. We are firm believers here that film as an art form, can, and ought to break through narrative traditions, and seek to amaze in a visual sense first and foremost.

Pinocchio and his stumbling confusion, eventual torture, and high octane breakdown serves as the centerpiece of movie, and Haji Suzuki pulls it off. There’s a marionette quality about his jerking stimming. Dragging him through the city streets, Onn-chan starring opposite him as the equally lost at first, and then sadistic Himiko, falls a bit flat in her performance, but I can’t say I’d envy an actress who performed a five minute barf-o-rama sequence so I’ll give her props for that. They both manage to stay in character while clearly confusing and scaring the Japanese citizens unlucky enough to be waiting for the next train while this was being filmed and I’d say that takes skill.

“Ignore the crazed and bleeding sexbot please.”

Both Pinocchio’s and Himiko’s outfits in this are stellar. Not to mention the leather clad

dominatrix character who is the “Corporate entity’s” main client. Her neon ombre hairdo is

straight out of a comic book as is the Company man - the main villain who sends goons after

our hero wielding giant goo cannons. This sequence of shots alone, as he finds out his

company's client has let the defunct and illegal robot 964 loose in the city, astounds me every time.

“Anger propels a man to stand to infinity.”

Incredible. The landscapes and framing in this flick is where the artistry truly shines. The

interlaced handycam work with static shots of rooms tilted 30-some-odd degrees with furniture, objects and actors shifted to an opposite angle makes for constant unease as a sense of perpetual motion (sickness?) Out the gate you can tell so much of this is shot guerilla style. Passersby look directly into the camera, or at the manic gesticulations of the actors. Please keep walking sir or madam, no need to worry about signing a release, you can star in our feature length perverted gross out film, free of charge! Awesome. Our department approves. People need to stop asking for permission, and just start making art. Do it now, do it everywhere. Film it on the streets of Shinjuku, or wherever the fuck this bizzaro nightmare was filmed. Fantastic.

“We know you can hear this image without hearing it okay.”

The entire movie seems to have been scored in post, but that isn’t to say it doesn’t work.

Throughout is metallic clanging, rhythmic whirling and occasional noise that truly adds to the

growing discord of Pinocchio's breaking. If Merzbow made a movie out of the contents of his garbage disposal, it would be this movie.

Our department advises the optimal way to watch this film is if you have higher than average troll DNA in your phenotype, put it on with your regularton friends after passing the bong. Play it with minimal explanation - “Hey y’all wanna see something crazy?” Good times will be had.

We officially rate this movie 964 at-least-its-not-another-MCUs out of 1000 - and the director

Shozin Fukui agrees.

“A sentiment we wholeheartedly vibe with.”