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Henry "Fonz" Winkler Left Without CA Ballot, Planned to Roll a Fat J w/ It
Eyyyyy #2018Primaries
Jun 5, 2018


Ted Howze Campaign Under Fire for Sending Media Blackface Headshot
"Ted Howze?" "Oh, Ted's doing well." #2018Primaries
Jun 5, 2018


Jun 5, 2018


ABC's Budget Cuts has Graphics Team Improvising
#2018Primaries
Jun 5, 2018


Applegate's "Self-Licking Ice Cream Cone" Metaphor Polls Well w/ Dairy Ind. Workers
#2018PrimariesCalifornia
Jun 5, 2018


Forever a Drone: Obama Reminisces on Old Fling
The Impotent Satyr Former President Barack Obama sat down with The Impotent Satyr to talk about the MQ-9 Reaper he once called "Honey"....
May 30, 2018


Holocaust Memorial Lacks Survivor Volunteers; One Little Girl May Have the Solution
The Impotent Satyr Since its inception, the holocaust memorial has been run by holocaust survivors, but, today, there's one...
May 29, 2018


WA Rep. Bruce Chandler Won't Stop Touching the Touchless Sanitizer Dispenser
The Impotent Satyr The pleading wails of Republican minority floor leader Rep. Drew Stokesbary could be heard throughout the entire...
May 27, 2018


"I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good," Whispers Eric Trump
The Impotent Satyr He tapped his Marauders Map with a Neville Longbottom replica wand as Don Jr wrapped Eric and himself in their bedroom...
May 18, 2018


Giuliani Recreates 9-11 With Legos in Attempt to Cheer Himself Up
The Impotent Satyr Rudy Giuliani reportedly built a replica New York City out of plastic Lego bricks and has been mayor-ing the town...
May 17, 2018


Barron Trump Highscores Galaga Arcade Machine, Doesn't Type ASS as Name
The Impotent Satyr The young, good-Samaritan wrote in "ARR" because he likes pirates. But not 'Pirates of the Caribbean' pirates--he's...
May 16, 2018


1000s of Nilla Wafers™ Box-Structures Razed as N. Korea Dismantles Nuclear Sites
The Impotent Satyr Punggye-ri, the North Korean nuclear testing site, is underway for deconstruction, according to images taken by a...
May 15, 2018


Trump says US and North Korea Had Direct "High Level" Texts
The Impotent Satyr The Impotent Satyr was lucky enough to be sent leaked texts between US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader...
Apr 19, 2018


Biden Waiting to Reach Center of Jawbreaker Before Submitting Presidential Bid
The Impotent Satyr "I wish I could take Trump behind the gym and chew his baby hands off." #JoeBidenPresidentialBid
Apr 17, 2018


Comey Begins Book Tour at New York's Trinity Kindergarten
The Impotent Satyr Former FBI Director James Comey announced a tour date to promote his book "A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and...
Apr 16, 2018


Paul Ryan Begins Cleaning Out Office, Packs Up Entire Papa Roach Discography
The Impotent Satyr Speaker of the House and P90x enthusiast Paul Ryan announced Wednesday April 11 that he will not seek a second term in...
Apr 11, 2018


Is EPA Head Scott Pruitt Becoming a Super Villain?
The Impotent Satyr Since being appointed head of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) Scott Pruitt has done everything in his power...
Apr 6, 2018


McMaster: "Donald Trump is the One True Heir to the White House Throne"
Sir Bolton, bring me his head
Apr 4, 2018
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