Razorblades are 100% American steel. Support your country, and add a little bit (a lot) of excitement (pain) to your diet (mouth).

Share them with: Friends, Neighbors, Old Relatives With Preexisting Health Conditions

The menthol and carbonation with send you straight to the wintry planet Hoth, lost in a blizzard with no Tauntaun innards to keep you warm.

It's like a funeral in your mouth!

Introducing a THC gummy for those who have it all. Marmambo #5 tastes like absolutely nothing—the one thing you don't have.

The flavor is pretty solid.

Are you ready for an edible that is going to make your head feel like it's being crushed by a woman with incredibly strong thighs?

Do you know how to spell culltrol aprapriotion? I can't type it into Google to see if I shouldn't be doing this kind of thing.

It's just a box of rocks. Small rocks. Pebbles, if you will. But still Pebbles if you won't.

"Oh my god. Did you eat the entire bag?" How many times have you been asked that question in your life? Hi, my name is Johannes Jonsonson.

The Hand Sanitaser is motion-activated and indiscriminate.

Did I drive the truck onto the roof again? How is that even possible, and why can't I do it when I'm sober?

The ninja coughs up thick red blood that trickles down their chin and finds quarter in a trench of the Eggo waffle. "Nani!?"

One candy square tastes like just like eating a tablespoon of Grey Poupon.

Introducing the first gummy candy to guarantee a complaint to the HOA by your neighbor.

Shipped product may be smelly and/or near-death. It is recommended that you use the KaYak immediately after receiving.

PEZhaluysta! The only candy that asks for consent before lodging itself into your throat.

Experience the natural sogginess of the bread's insides, and wash it down with Red Bull and some chewy bits!