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Starch of the Penneguins

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"I'm-a sorry, baby Luigi. There has been a hole in my heart since your madre left us for-a that rotini son of a bitch."

It's eating season for the penneguins, but there's just one massive problem: the great marinara ocean is over 100 kilometers away.

Mother penneguins must leave their glutenous spouse and unformed doughy egg behind to make the months-long trek to the red sea, get all sauced up, and return to the eating grounds to be gobbled up by French researchers at the nearby Dumont d'Urville Station on Antarctica. But the starchy beings face a large number of hurdles on their way to the marinara. Some collapse during the journey from being over-cooked, while others are killed by the penneguin's natural predator: the deadly, insatiable Italian chemist.

While the mother is away, the father penneguin will feed its hatched young a small amount of pasta water--just enough to keep its tube structure sound until mother returns home--if mother returns home at all.


Pick up this straight-to-DVD film wherever mustaches are black and thicker than a king size Snickers.

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