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Fry-Burst | Chicken Cordon Bleu Raspberry

Impotent Products

You know when things get put inside other things, and then you roll that up and put it in another thing? And then you deep fry that thing and put it inside your mouth (after cooling)?

That's pretty cool, right? It's an edible babushka doll—need I say more?


I can't be the only one who has ever wanted to deep fry and consume their grandmother's Russian doll set. Right? Like, if I just unhinged my jaw a little bit...


What a perfect segue—according to the food scientists here at Impotent Products, you will no longer need to unhinge your jaw nor require a CPR/AED-certified person watch you while you eat. Our Fry-Bursts recipe has been altered, lowering the total amount of sodium and silica beads. Extensive testing on employees has shown that this reduces the chance of choking by a whopping 11%!


A diagram and instructions for the Heimlich maneuver are on the BACK OF THE BOX! This includes directions to perform the maneuver even while alone.



Fry-Burst is sold in the section of the weed store where the sun don't shine...but UV lights do *wink wink* *nudge nudge* "Four twenty" ;)


This post brought to you by Hi-Burst. Get them wherever you get prolonged eye-contact.


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