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Study Finds Big Lemon Just Thick-Rind Lying Asshole

Updated: Feb 12, 2020

The Impotent Satyr

Imagine this: You're at the grocery store with your family. You think you are safe. You're not. 

You see a group of these fuckers looking plump as heck and think to yourself, "Look at all that lemon juice just waiting to be harvested! I'd bet that one lemon could supply my entire family with enough vitamin C to keep the scurvy away for another week!"

You would be wrong. Dead wrong. Dead wrong with scurvy. That lemon is an asshole lying straight to your face, and science has proved it! The rind is so thick; there are hardly 2 Tablespoons of the liquid gold contained inside. 

Do yourself and your community a favor--buy safe, reliable, juice-filled, small-sized lemons.

This message brought to you by the Council of Small Lemon Growers of Nebraska

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