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Sarah Sanders Wears Medieval Helmet to Mueller Interrogation

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Late last year Sarah Huckabee-Sanders (as well as John Kelly and some former cabinet members) was interviewed by Special Counsel Robert Mueller's team about the ongoing Russia/Trump investigation. Sanders, known for her innate ability to deflect questions, showed up at Mueller's door in a knight's helmet, with the face guard down, of course. The full transcript of the meeting is as follows:

Mueller: Would you have a seat please?

Sanders: My stance on sitting is to stand up for the American choice to have a seat or remain standing.

Mueller: Okay... Would you state your full name for the record?

Sanders: The President has been very clear on this topic, and I don't believe I need to reiterate what he has already stated.

Mueller: Sarah, I haven't begun the interview.

Sanders: Well I'm just giving you the best information that I have at this time.

Muelller: And I appreciate that.

-Deafening silence-

Mueller: Would you like a glass of water before we start?

Sanders: We would both have all the water we needed if California's governor wasn't intent on directing the state's rivers into the ocean.

Muelller: Miss Sanders-

Sanders: This isn't water. If you want to see real water you should be at my house in the morning when all my kids are running around.

Mueller: With-

Sanders: With water, yes.

Mueller: Has the President ever asked you to lie for him?

Sanders: You know, the real crime here, Robert, are all these crappy metal chairs. I doubt they're even American steel. Yeah--look at that: Made in Taiwan.

Mueller: For your information we got a really good deal on these chairs at Bed Bath & Beyond. We saved the tax payers money AND we bought a Soda Stream for the office.

Sanders: Alright, time's up.

Mueller: GODDAMMIT!

#RobertMueller #SarahHuckabeeSanders

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