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California Town Elects Wildfire Mayor, Brought More Jobs to Region than any Politician

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Carr Fire for Mayor

"Yeah, the fire rolled in and burned up my Chevy Spark--the irony isn't lost on me--but the town has never been busier with all these fire fighters here spending money," an area man told us. "Our previous mayor, Flint Wilburn--again, the irony is palatable--promised us jobs but delivered unto us a Papa John's that has a "no kneeling" policy and plays the Star Spangled Banner every 74 minutes. Their garlic sauce is fantastic, though."

The rest of the town, though distraught at losing homes and vehicles, was pretty satisfied with restaurants and bars full of fire fighters at all times of the day.

"Yeah, so we just got together the other night to give Flint the boot and put the Carr Fire in the hot seat."

The town is hard at work designing a fire-resistant sash for their new mayor.

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