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Harlot's Web

Updated: Sep 18, 2019

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"You ever seen a trochanter bend this way? I didn't think so."

The classic tale of life and death on the farm gets re-released with a new twist thanks to a recently discovered first draft among E.B. White's unearthed manuscripts and unpublished writings.


Charlotte doesn't have long to live, so she goes on a massive fuck-fest on the farm, trading her cephalothorax and putting on a risque thread-dangling show in exchange for fruit flies. Wilbur isn't sure how engaging in the lewd act is supposed to save him from slaughter, but he participates regardless.


When he grows fat and it comes time for him to be slaughtered, Wilbur takes what he has learned from Charlotte, and seduces the lonely Farmer Zuckerman who picks up what the pig is laying down. The neighbors see Zuckerman doing the nasty with his farm animal, and call the police. He's arrested, and all the animals are saved from slaughter! Then everyone fucks until the end of time--just as E.B. White originally wrote.


Find it on the web. That's not a spider joke--purchase it on the internet.

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