- Sep 7, 2018
- 1 min read

Contraceptives by Konami

Updated: Jul 19, 2019

Impotent Products

Forget the Konami code, tonight you're getting laid regardless.

Available wherever Bill and Ted say, "Woah."

#Contra #Nintendo #Konami #KonamiCode

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A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building

it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.

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Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition

This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.

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The Last Air Blender

It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!

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The Law Office of Ace Bandit & Bandit

If you or a loved one has been on the receiving end of an unwelcomed boop, you may be entitled to a large tennis ball settlement.

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Report: Cutting Board Still Smells Like Garlic

"But surely the odor won't latch onto this apple that I'm about to cut up, right?"

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Hydra Flask

Put on those water wings, because it's time to WET YOUR WHISTLE with the new Hydra Flask!

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Phil Collins Doesn't Remember Acting in Waterworld, and I'm Not Surprised

Genesis front man Phil Collins doesn't remember acting in the 1995 movie Waterworld, and I think that's the least of his problems.

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Contraceptives by Konami

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