Stairwell Aficionado The ocean waves crashing were louder than the ghost pirate wailing in my ear. I wish the hand rail was able to...

Stairwell Aficionado I don't like this yellow thing telling me where I can't drive my car. 2 angry fist shakes outta 5 #UniversityPlace...

Stairwell Aficionado I opted-out of cereal this morning, deciding instead to feast on stairwell. With my reusable Batdorf and Bronson...

Was haunted by the ghost of a forgotten child endlessly urinating on the slides.

It's warm, again--praise the sun! My peas are beginning to sprout and I have an unquenchable hunger for stairs, much like Tobey Maguire's...

Stairwell Aficionado Oh, the humanity! how I've neglected you, my stairwell enthusiasts. Much like my abdominal workout, I abandoned you...

Stairwell Aficionado Welcome to 2018, my Stairwellingtons. That's what my fans call themselves. Don'tcha? To start off the new year right...

Like a victim of Volkswagen's emissions-cheating vehicles I felt dooped by the cafeteria stir fry, but I wasn't going to receive reparations

The echo is amazing. It's like a conversation with another person, I imagine.

I've been spending a lot of time at school--The Evergreen State College, that is--Jefferson Middle School's security has my car on file.

I drove to the capitol and tried my best not to look like or think terrorist thoughts just in case the politicians were telepathic.

The Evergreen State College showcases their ginormous clock tower with a four-floor staircase but no hunchback to fall in love with me.