Trump says US and North Korea Had Direct "High Level" Texts

The Impotent Satyr

The Impotent Satyr was lucky enough to be sent leaked texts between US President Donald Trump and North Korean leader Kim Jong-un. The unedited conversation is as follows:

Kim: u up?

Trump: yeah what's up

Kim: I wanted to talk. I hope Im not disturbing Melania

Trump: it's ok. We sleep in different beds

Trump: in different rooms

Trump: in different buildings

Trump: in different area codes.

Kim: u should be more assertive. My wife isn't allowed outside the capital building.

Trump: things here are different. You wouldnt understand.

Kim: how about u open up to me instead of shutting down. I am an open ear.

Kim: Who's your little rocket man?

Trump: u

Kim: I'm what

Trump: ur my lil rocket man

Kim: were gonna be ok