Jan 5, 20181 min
Updated: Apr 8, 2019
Since President Trump's newest rollout of sanctions, the leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has thrown constant tantrums, writhing on the ground; only his senior advisors wrapping him in his Dennis Rodman blanket seems to calm him down.
That hasn't stopped Mr Kim from looking to the horizon each morning for illegal ships carrying the delicious Nabisco cookies he loves so much. Just last week Chinese ships flying Panamanian flags were seized in South Korea on their way to the North. The cargo on board was almost entirely oil, however 3 large cargo containers were filled to the brim with boxes of Nilla Wafer goodness.
Chinese Foreign Ministry Spokeswoman Hua Chunying has disavowed any ties to the ships and assured that China is upholding cooperation with U.N. sanctions against their North Korean ally. A reporter for the Columbia Daily, who was seated on the far right side of the room, noticed that Ms Chunying had her right hand behind her back, fingers crossed.