The Impotent Satyr
Sarah Huckabee-Sanders, a phalanx shield animate, has stepped down from her post as White House Press Secretary. Melania Trump's now former personal aide, Stephanie Grisham, assumed the role this week and is now fielding questions from the press corps and exclusively regurgitating them back in an annoyingly provocative tone, leaving journalists to look back in fondness on the days when Mrs. Huckabee-Sanders would sometimes physically spin on her own head like a breakdancer to redirect the tough questions asked of her. Stephanie has already singled out Jim Acosta twice. On one occasion he suffered a nose bleed from prolonged eye-contact with Grisham, with the other instance actually causing Acosta's back tattoo of a plate of beef stroganoff to disappear altogether.