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Louisiana Lawmakers Agree on Abortion Bill to Please Everyone

Updated: Sep 18, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Babies with dumb-spelled names like Dylesia, Zoie, Tristian, and Aleigha don't even have their placenta molested, they just get chucked in the industrial shredder.

Lawmakers on both sides of the isle have come together in Louisiana to hash out an abortion bill that can be accepted by all; and they've done it. Using modern technology as well as the employment of local voodoo queens, placenta from the birth of a newborn is pushed around on the floor and analyzed, prodded, and gurgled around in the mouth to determine the future life of the child in question.


Will they become a model citizen paying taxes, buying stamps, getting injured on the job and becoming addicted to pain-killers, and voting for representation? or will they lick grocery store ice cream and place it back in the freezer?


If the former is determined, the child gets to live and suffer through life like the rest of us. If the latter becomes apparent...sheeeit, that baby's given a one-way ticket to the incinerator. EVERYBODY WINS!

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