Impotent Products
Entire cup may be submerged in a milky brine.
Purchase Reese's Life Cereal Cups wherever people tell you 'you're fine' after you've clearly just lost your sight and/or mind.
Cup my life into Reese's
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Available on kindle, paper, and hardback!
Just start typing. Who knows what you'll find?
Also available as an
audio book on YouTube
- Feb 5
- 1 min
Embarrassed Coworker Caught on Fly Trap Chooses Death Over Asking for Help
"Believe it or not, while hanging from this adhesive tape covered in dead flies, I've found God. And She has a proboscis."
28 views0 comments
- Apr 12, 2020
- 3 min
A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
357 views0 comments
- Mar 20, 2020
- 2 min
Pliable Teaser: Coronavirus Edition
This digital interactive teaser puts players behind the eyes of a shopper endlessly perusing an aisle that's void of any toilet paper.
24 views0 comments
- Feb 26, 2020
- 1 min
The Last Air Blender
It's the revolutionary kitchen gadget that Fire Lord Sozin doesn't want you to see!
73 views0 comments
Featured Posts
Recent Posts from Impotent Comics
- Apr 4
- 1 min
Two Celebrities Who Did NOT Age Well
Where has the time gone? Where has my ample supply of cheese gone?
8 views0 comments
- Mar 3
- 1 min
Life is a B
Sparky's life didn't quite go as planned. But he is still a pretty good boy.
1 view0 comments
- Nov 8, 2022
- 1 min
Hunger Overruled
"The court sentences you to 200 hours of assembling pigs in a blanket."
7 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Impotent M.D.
- Mar 6
- 1 min
Cunnilanguish | Medical Diagnosis
Treatment includes but is not limited to: Sighing loudly or making fart sounds with your mouth during foreplay
18 views0 comments
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2 min
Diagnosis: 'Running With Caesars'
Impotent M.D. Are you or a loved one suffering from the hurtful connotations associated with eating an exorbitant amount of salad? It's...
24 views0 comments
- Jul 30, 2019
- 1 min
Diagnosis: Kocher
"Gypsys, Tramps, and Thieves? I've been called worse--today."
21 views0 comments
- Jul 28, 2019
- 1 min
Diagnosis: Hellacopter
"My boy Zack is hella strong; I once saw him bench press a bench press that someone was actively using."
22 views0 comments
- Mar 2, 2021
- 3 min
Red Lion Inn/Governor's Hotel
Was it a metaphor for our relationship? I don't know; I am way too drunk to psychoanalyze what she meant by "emotionally distant."
396 views0 comments
- Apr 12, 2020
- 3 min
A Quarantined Stare: My Apartment Building
it's a pretty standard apartment building stairwell, kind of like this Charles Shaw Red Blend I'm drinking straight from the bottle.
357 views0 comments
- Feb 28, 2020
- 1 min
A Quick Stare: Tumwater Falls
I was so happy to find some stairs that I didn't bother seeing the falls—I'd already fallen head-over-heels in love.
278 views0 comments
- Jan 11, 2020
- 1 min
A Quick Stare: My Viola Floral Studio
They said I could be anything I set my mind to and work hard toward. So I became a stairwell aficionado.
46 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Stairwell Aficionado
- Mar 21, 2020
- 1 min
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion—Vilena Donton's house | Stairwell Review
I've fought mudcrabs more fearsome than these stairs.
78 views0 comments
- Feb 29, 2020
- 1 min
Watch Dogs | Stairwell Review
Why watch dogs when you can watch stairwells?
36 views0 comments
- Feb 28, 2020
- 1 min
Sniper Elite 4 | Stairwell Review
They told me I couldn't drive my car up a flight of wooden stairs. So I grabbed my kar and then drove its stock into that person's skull.
13 views0 comments
- Feb 5, 2020
- 1 min
Breath of Fire 2: SimaFort | Stairwell Review
More like peepee of fire. Never wade through dank pond scum inside of a castle operated by toads.
74 views0 comments
Recent Posts From Gamer's Stairwell Aficionado
- Mar 24
- 2 min
Stuart Belittle
The moment The Littles make their decision to adopt him, Stuart berates his fellow orphans for having been picked-over for a mouse.
2 views0 comments
- Mar 21
- 2 min
Flay's Hand Peeled Skin Chips
Skin chips are hand peeled & fried to dry, flaky perfection. Naturally salty, our crispy boys are sure to satisfy any cannibalistic cravings
14 views0 comments
- Mar 20
- 2 min
Falanel | Flannel-Coated Falafel
Our employees painstakingly clothe magma-hot falafel in flannel, creating our trademark product: FALANEL
8 views0 comments
- Mar 10
- 2 min
Nunyuns | Onion Flavored Halos
Relief instantly washes over you, as Nunyun holes are large and famously not tight. Sticking one's finger in a Nunyun gives no satisfaction.
5 views0 comments
Recent Posts from Impotent Products
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