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Doom Maternal

Impotent Products

Press F to pay for diapers.

id Software's eagerly awaited follow-up to the 2016 gore fest that was Doom is nearly here. New gameplay and screen shots recently released have shown audiences how id is ever-so-slightly tweaking the usual run-and-gun format for a refreshing new take, as players take control of Doom Gal, don the familiar Praetor Suit and helmet, and shoot their way through Earth, Hell, and Heaven--all while taking care of Doom Gal's bastard offspring.


Baby Mechanics

id promises players smooth movement around all types of terrain, made possible by the super shotgun's meat hook, a dash ability, and a tactical baby carrier that slings junior around the front of Doom Gal's torso--the perfect spot for a growing boy to receive lots of vitamin D(eath).


Doom Baby has some offensive moves as well. Feed the little guy enough UAC MREs and he'll spray caustic brown chunks that give even the gnarliest Pinky pink eye.


Hidden within one of the levels is a "Baby's First BFG", a smaller version of the original that causes enemies to expel their bowels before exploding in a shower of blood and teething-sensitive chunks.


Players hoping to avoid the baby altogether can do just that. At first sign of the infant, Doom Gal can simply hand it a live grenade and walk away as the aggressive metal soundtrack beats the maternal instinct out of you.


Doom Maternal releases on November 22 for LeapFrog LeapPads, Amazon Fire Kids Tablet, the TI-89 Scientific Calculator, and Nintendo Switch.

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